Something Crazy: Diet Coke and Nude Sculptures
by LileyKigoSpashleyRizzslesLover
Summary: In order to help Jane get over Casey, Maura suggests a few crazy things that might just do the trick. Continuation of S3E3. Jane/Maura. Oneshot.


Jane exited the Veteran's Center nearly in tears. She cleared her throat rather loudly and walked up to Maura, who had just gotten up from a bench. "Well that was a _great_ idea! He said I was the girl of his dreams!" The sarcasm was evident.

"Maybe it's just too hard for him to be in a relationship right now." She was willing to say anything that would lessen the heartbreak she was sure her best friend was feeling.

The detective grabbed the tissues that Maura had dug out of her pocket. "Yeah, with me. Ever."

"Oh, Jane. I'm so sorry." She said, reaching out to rub the other woman's shoulder, a fairly common sympathetic gesture.

Jane wiped her nose and examined the tissue as though it held all the universe's secrets. After a moment she looked back up. "Let's go do something crazy."

"Do you feel like tagging?" Maura asked rather enthusiastically.

"No." Jane laughed and held the tissue to her still running nose. "God, no! Not that crazy!"

"Oh, oh!" She grabbed her best friend's arm as they started walking away from the building. "So you mean like graham crackers and canned frosting crazy."

Chocolate eyes started welling up as the head they were contained in started nodding. "And a box of Shiraz."

Maura considered pairing the items together and her nose scrunched up. "It's a little too peppery and full bodied."

"Work with me."

"Okay, okay." She looked forward and stayed close as they walked back to the car.

Since Casey's workplace wasn't too far from Beacon Hill, the drive was very short.

As Maura was always prepared for whatever Jane and the rest of the Rizzoli family might throw at her, she already had the requested items stocked up. Though it took some looking to find the boxed wine.

They sat there and ate their frosting covered graham crackers and drank their boxed wine in silence. After her fifth piece, Jane sniffled and had to fish out the tissue from her pocket before blowing into it loudly.

"You okay, Jane?"

The ache in her throat resurfaced as the intensity of the previous emotions returned. "No. I don't think that these things are enough for me right now."

Maura reached forward just as Jane broke down.

"I'm sorry." Jane said after a few moments.

"Don't be. Just let it all out. It's actually better for you if you do but I'm not going to get into the scientific facts about it. I know you don't need that right now."

Jane pulled away and laughed. Of course her best friend would know the details behind something as random as that. "No, it's okay. You can if you want."

Hazel eyes narrowed as the doctor thought she was being tested in some way. Her enjoyment for random facts won over her paranoia, however, and she began spouting. "Well… when you cry such as you are now you actually activate your parasympathetic nervous system and… never mind." She shook her head. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. But I kinda do want to do something crazy. Other thank this." Jane pointed to the remains of the last hour or so on the coffee table before she tried to think of something they could do this late in Boston.

"Well… we could have a pillow fight. That's something crazy, right?" Maura offered.

The detective rolled her eyes. "If you're twelve."

Maura wracked her brain for a minute. She jumped up, excited, as it came to her. "Oh! We can go skinny dipping in the Public Garden Lagoon!"

"Um, no. First of all it's only about three feet deep. And secondly, it's probably filled with trash. And swan crap." She turned her nose up at that. "And I think Frankie's on midnight shift tonight. Wouldn't want to get written up for indecent exposure, would you, Maura?" A slight twinkle in her eye gave away the fact that she was poking fun at her, even if she was still sniffling, however slightly.

"Well… the only thing that I know that's open right now is the 24-hour grocery store down the street. I don't know what we could do."

"I'm sure we can find something! Let's go!" Jane said, getting up and heading for the door. She almost didn't wait for Maura before she charged into the cold Boston air.

XXXXX

"Oh, you know what I've always wanted to do, Maura?" Jane asked, getting kind of giddy. Her tears were long gone by now.

"I'm a little afraid to ask what."

"The Diet Coke and Mentos thing! Let's go to the Common and do it!"

Maura laughed at the absurdity of the suggestion. "I think you've had too many glasses of wine."

"Please, Maura!" She pleaded.

Afraid that puppy dog eyes and a trembling lip would soon follow, she grabbed up the two items and headed for the register. Ignoring the odd look from the cashier, she paid and they left.

The Common was only a few blocks away and, given the fact that they had been drinking, they decided to walk. Maura was scouring her brain for a topic of conversation so that Jane wouldn't think about Casey but was coming up short. Luckily, the detective didn't seem to be in distress and they reached the park.

The M.E. led them a few yards away from the street and sat down at a bench. "Do you want to do it?" She asked, holding out the roll of Mentos.

"Uh… You know, I'm not really too sure how it works. You go ahead."

Maura smiled and took that as a cue for her to start a science lesson. "You know, the most common theory as to what is going on in the reaction between this candy and the soda is nucleation. This is the idea that the surface of the candy is covered with microscopic pits so it has more surface area than you can actually see. And each pit provides what is called a nucleation site, or a place where a carbon dioxide bubble can form and escape. Millions of CO2 bubbles are formed in a very short span of time, causing the soda to do this." She opened the cap and heard the familiar hissing sound that signified the release of air pressure. She dropped in the mints and jumped away, though not quickly enough as the soda fountain splashed all over her designer clothes, causing more than a few curses to come from the doctor.

Jane just laughed, more entertained by her best friend's misfortune than the four-dollar science experiment.

Though she was frowning, Maura couldn't be mad at the fact that this was helping Jane, however briefly. Nevertheless, the cola drenched clothing was starting to make her shiver so she grabbed the bottle, found a trash can, and booked it out of the Common. One quick glance behind her made sure that Jane was following.

When they finally reached the Isles residence, Maura went straight into her room to change and came back with a new idea forming. "You know what's pretty crazy?"

"My mother?"

Maura laughs. "Well, yes, I'd have to concede to that. But besides her."

"No, Maura. Please enlighten me." She said, her words seasoned with a just a hint of sarcasm.

"Getting a nude sculpture of yourself done."

The detective nearly broke her neck as fast as she looked over at the other woman. "What?"

"Dennis. He did a fantastic job with me and it was rather… exhilarating… watching him work."

"But I thought Dennis was your new boyfriend or something."

"Well yes. But I can share in your time of need."

Jane laughed. "How generous of you." She seemed to mull it over for a moment before shrugging. "Why not? But you're doing it with me."

"But I already did it."

"I don't care. I'd rather him be busy ogling your parts anyway. That way he won't notice me looking at his." She laughed.

Maura did so as well before pulling out her cell phone."I'll call him right now."

"What? Now?" Jane, alarmed, brought her hand forward to stop the dialing.

"Yes. Why not?"

"It's just… it's late and I – I don't want to wake him."

The M.E. considered her best friend for a moment before frowning. "While that is a reasonable argument, I'm sensing there's something else?"

Jane looked away for a moment and fidgeted, not wanting to say what she was sure she was going to be forced to say.

"Jane?" Maura goaded.

A sharp sigh burst forth from the taller woman's lips. "I'm not – I'm not wearing the best underwear right now, okay?"

This caused a snort to come from the other woman, earning a glare from Jane. "Sorry! But it's fine! We're not even going to be in underwear."

"Wait… so when you said naked you meant, like, _naked_?"

"Yes. I thought I specified nude."

Now uncomfortable, Jane cleared her throat. "So, uh… everyone in the room will be completely lacking clothing, huh?"

"Is there a problem with that? You've seen me in my undergarments before. I don't see how an extra layer is very different."

Jane just laughed silently to herself. "You really are one of a kind, aren't you?"

"Of course I am, Jane. Genetic variation makes it almost impossible for two people to be the same. In fact, even identical twins are rarely exactly the same genetically."

"How fascinating, Maura." A monotonously toned Jane stated, much like she always did when Maura's rantings turned scientific.

"And I'm sure he's not asleep yet. He's a bit of a night owl."

"Lucky me." Jane said between clenched teeth. Sure she wanted to do something crazy but she didn't actually think something like this was going to happen.

Maura smiled and took that as a sign to go ahead and call him. Within a few minutes he agreed to be at her home in a few minutes. "He's on his way."

"Lucky me." She stated again. "So… are there any crazy art rules I should be aware of before he gets here?"

A laugh came from behind the doctor's lips. "Art rules?"

Deciding to ignore the amused look on her friend's face, she clarified. "Yeah, I dunno. No turning your face to the left? Or maybe I'm not allowed to have my butt cheeks more than two centimeters apart?"

Stifling a laugh, Maura tried to reassure her friend. "I think you'll be fine. Besides, I'm pretty sure he knows you're a beginner at this stuff."

Jane just nodded, not too sure of this idea. But, given the circumstances, she was willing to try anything once.

It didn't take too long for the artist to arrive. After they chatted for a few minutes, he set up his equipment and mentioned that they should start undressing now.

"How's your… uh, neck?" Jane asked in a feeble attempt to make small talk as she undressed… very slowly.

"It's fine." He was about to take off his shirt but sensed her hesitation. "You know, if it would make you feel more comfortable, I don't have to be nude too. I'm sure Maura told you all about that."

"Not _all _about it." Maura assured, hinting at something that was just between them.

The sculptor smiled and gave Maura a wink before turning back to Jane. "So?"

"Yeah. I think for now it would be best just if me an' Maura were um… you know what, maybe just Maura. I'm fine. Really."

"Jane!" The hazel-eyed, and now half naked, beauty whined. "You're the one that wanted to do something crazy. Please? It'll take your mind off him."

Dennis winced and offered his two cents. "Guy troubles? You know, art is a fantastic way to get any emotions out. Maybe a lesson would be more advantageous?"

Jane, now standing only in her bra and panties, paused and considered the offer. "Maybe you're right. And I wouldn't have to be naked, right?"

He laughed. "Nope. Maura'll be the only one who is."

She nodded. "That sounds better." She put her pants and shirt back on and joined the male across the room.

Dennis smiled, not having had the opportunity to teach in quite some time. He stood behind her and gave her little pointers and tips on what to do next. Within minutes, what started out as a block of clay began to resemble something more blob-like.

Jane's eye twitched as she looked between her 'sculpture' and the model, lingering on the latter. As soon as she realized there was nothing she could do to make it resemble a human, let alone Maura, she sighed. "Ugh… I'm no good at this. This is more frustrating than anything else. You know, I think I'd rather be over there." She pointed towards the other woman.

He laughed. "Alright, I get it. Sculpting's not your thing." He paused for a moment, considering something. "But you know what? I think you two would look fantastic in, um… Maura, do you mind if we move this to the living room?"

Said woman shook her head. "Not at all. Jane?"

"I dunno, Maur. You two go ahead and have fun without me." She figured she could just have a few beers – now that the wine was gone – and that'll help get her mind off Casey. That is, if the looming notion that her mother thought she was a sex maniac wasn't enough.

"Jane, please?" This time Dennis was doing the persuading. "I just had this vision of a perfect statue and I need you to model with Maura."

The detective sighed, grabbed a beer, chugged it, and nodded. "Fine. Let's get this over with."

"Great! You two go make yourselves comfortable. I just need to move my stuff." He said as he gathered his materials.

Jane motioned for Maura to go first, if only to secretly admire the bare backside of the doctor. When she realized what she was doing she shook her head and internally scolded herself.

Maura took a seat on the couch and patted the spot next to her before motioning Jane over.

The detective just shook her head, fine with standing for now. She was feeling extremely self conscious in her skivvies, until Dennis walked over.

"The whole point of a nude portrait is to be nude." He said.

"I know." She sighed and unhooked her bra before letting it fall down. Next she stepped out of her underwear before joining Maura on the couch.

Dennis looked at the two of them and frowned, feeling something was off. After tapping on his chin for a moment he motioned for Jane to get up and sit on the chair. He instructed her to position her body somewhat sideways so that Maura could sit down on Jane's lap without obstructing the view of Jane's face. The pair became somewhat nervous now, as their bodies were pressed up against each other's in ways they had never been before.

"Okay, now. Jane, can you wrap your arms around Maura's midsection?"

She did so, albeit hesitantly. At the added contact she felt her own body flushing and her heart picked up its pace exponentially.

"Good." He smiled but it still wasn't right. "I can tell that you two are a little stiff. Can you try to loosen up?

Maura did as she was told and, in the process, she shifted, causing Jane's hardened nipples to rub against her back. This, understandably, caused her to stiffen up again as a flood of sexual sensations coursed through her body.

"Maura? You okay?" Dennis asked. He didn't think that she would be the one the hardest to convince to be comfortable.

She waved it off. "Yeah, I –"

Just then, to all but Dennis' horror, the back door opened.

"Hey, Maura? Can I borrow some of your – Oh sweet mother of -! I – I – I don't even want to know!" Angela yelled, looking away. "But the next time you have a crazy sex party you might want to lock the door." She nearly sprinted for the exit.

"What? No, Jesus, Ma!" Jane pushed Maura off of her, grabbed a pillow to cover herself with, and tried to run after her mother, tripping over a few obstacles in the process. Grumbling, she got up and wrapped a nearby blanket around herself before stumbling out the door.

Dennis blinked slowly and looked over at Maura. "What just happened?"

Maura released a bit of nervous tension in a laugh. "That was Jane's mother. She's living in my guest house."

His eyebrows shot up. "Oh. Wow… that's… that's kinda awkward." He tried to hold it in for a moment but, after a few seconds, he burst out laughing.

Realizing the absurdity in the situation herself, Maura joined in on his laughter.

Rosy with embarrassment, Jane walked back in. She growled under hear breath when she saw them laughing. "I'm glad you both think that this is so damn funny!"

"It kind of is!" Maura said when her giggles finally died down.

Jane just rolled her eyes and grabbed her things.

"Wait! You're not going to let me finish?" Dennis asked.

"Did you not just see what happened?"

"Yes and? The damage has already been done."

While that was certainly true, she wasn't sure she wanted to be in that situation again. Though, part of her desperately wanted to be against Maura like that again. Her fear of never feeling that again won out over anything else and she dropped her stuff before sitting back down.

They had a good hour or so just sitting there pressed up against each other. This gave them plenty of time to think about further instances in which they might be pressed up against each other, though neither would admit it.

About halfway through, Maura cleared her throat. She was sure this was one of the most uncomfortable situations she had ever been in and, if she knew this would be the result, she never would have mentioned it. Though it wasn't the exposure to either Jane or Dennis that had her. It was Jane's exposure to her. Knowing she was right there beneath her was driving her crazy and it took all she had not to disrupt the sculpting process and make a move on the woman below her.

Time ticked by slowly but, eventually, he brought his modeling spatula down from the finishing touch. "There. Done." He smiled at his creation.

Jane couldn't help but sigh in relief at the fact that now she could get off this chair. Sure the fact that she had a naked woman on her was very uncomfortable but the fact that her leg was asleep for most of the duration was really getting to her. As soon as Maura got up to admire the handiwork a few feet away, she shifted and tried to shake her leg awake. Not an easy feat.

"Maura can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked before he finished packing up. Receiving a nod, he brought her into a nearby hallway. "You know, sculpting not only allows me to release my emotions, it also lets me see the emotions of my subjects and I definitely saw something tonight. You and Jane have something special and, as much as it pains me to say this, I can't get in the way of that. I wish you two the best of luck and I hope we can stay friends."

"I, uh… of course!" The words startled her somewhat and she wasn't really sure what to say.

"Just promise me we can see some more art shows together."

She nodded and smiled. "Thank you."

He laughed. "And you can keep the sculpture. Consider it an early wedding gift." He winked and left.

Thoroughly confused at what just happened, Maura turned and went back into the living room. "Jane? Are you okay?" She asked at seeing the odd behavior.

Said woman shook her leg out one more time before laughing. "Yeah. I just – I was trying to wake my leg up. I think it worked." She winced at the TV-static-like sensation that followed.

Maura smiled and started to get dressed again, watching as Jane followed, before speaking. "And, um, how are you feeling?" She was hesitant to ask that, lest the other woman had forgotten about earlier and she had just forced open a fresh wound.

Jane frowned and evaluated herself. "You know… I think it worked. I think I'm done crying over Casey." Now all she needed to do was go home and cry over Maura. It was obvious she liked this Dennis guy. Where was he anyway? "Where's Dennis?" She voiced some of her thoughts aloud.

"He went home. And said we can keep that." The M.E. answered, pointing at the very intimate sculpture.

"Great. Now I have to figure out where to put it." She rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry. I'll keep it in my bedroom." Maura smiled, knowing exactly where it would fit.

A mischievous grin formed on Jane's face. "I think you should keep it in the office. I'd love to see the look on people's faces if they spot it."

"Really? You want every person that walks into my office to see a sculpture of you? Naked?"

Jane thought back on all the people that had gone in there to include her brothers, mother, and boss, and frowned. "Nevermind."

Maura smiled but, a moment later, her brows furrowed as she thought of something. "I hate to bring this up but… you let go of Casey kind of quickly. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I, uh…" Jane tried to explain this to herself but was unable. Instead, she opted for something else. "Maura?"

"Yes, Jane?"

"Can I – Can I just test something?"

"What is it?"

"Just – close your eyes."

Maura did as she was told and opened them almost as quickly when she felt a pair of warm lips over her own. It's not that the sensation was unpleasant. It was the opposite, actually. It just took her off guard. Less than a moment later she was returning the kiss with way more fervor and passion than she had received from the other woman. She did not care that she was now dominating the kissing session as all she wanted to do was get out all the excess emotion she held for Jane that she had to lock away, thinking that nothing could ever happen between them.

Due to a lack of oxygen, Jane had to break away. Before she could even catch her breath a "wow" escaped from her lips. "Where'd that come from, Maura?"

"I – I love you." She confessed quickly, hoping that explained the way she behaved just then. "I'm sorry if that was too much for you. I just couldn't help myself."

"No… it's – it's fine. I, uh… that was… nice."

"Good." She said, somewhat disappointed that she didn't hear an 'I love you' back. Though, considering the events of today she wasn't wholly surprised.

"Maybe we can do it again sometime." Jane smiled.

"I hope so."

The taller woman brought Maura into a warm embrace and they sat there for a few moments before the latter woman looked up at the person who had captured her heart. "What are you thinking about?"

"You naked." Jane answered honestly.

This caused her to laugh. "Really?"

"Yeah. That and how much I love you." The detective punctuated that with a chaste, but extremely meaningful kiss on Maura's lips.


End file.
